It cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.
Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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Scientists desperate to be reunited with a missing particle have resorted to leaving posters on every lamp-post in their local area. The particle, thought to answer to the name Higgs Boson, has been missing for some time now and there are fears it may never be found.
Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
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‘The 300-million-metres-per-second speed limit was introduced at the beginning of the universe and is clearly now out of date,’ he said. ‘What we would be doing is bringing a number of neutrinos which routinely flout the limit back on the right side of the laws of relativity.’
Posted: Sep 30th, 2011
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‘The coppers at first remained static while attempting to charge the man who they suspected of battery, and did not see the situation’s potential to spark such a shocking result.’
Posted: Aug 28th, 2011
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Leading physicists have conceded that they may not yet know enough about the nature of the universe to explain the existence of IKEA, after a couple entered the Gateshead store and emerged two hours later with a bag of tealights, some Swedish meatballs, and having aged forty years.
Posted: Apr 4th, 2011
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