Scientists desperate to be reunited with a missing particle have resorted to leaving posters on every lamp-post in their local area. The particle, thought to answer to the name Higgs Boson, has been missing for some time now and there are fears it may never be found. [read...]
‘Increasing the speed limit would reduce the journey time from the sun to the earth from its current sluggish 8 minutes and 19 seconds, bringing enormous economic benefits by increasing the amount of sunlight we receive and potentially lengthening the day.’ [read...]
‘The coppers at first remained static while attempting to charge the man who they suspected of battery, and did not see the situation’s potential to spark such a shocking result.’ [read...]
Leading physicists have conceded that they may not yet know enough about the nature of the universe to explain the existence of IKEA, after a couple entered the Gateshead store and emerged two hours later with a bag of tealights, [read...]
Minister for Universities and Science, David Willetts has written to further education establishments in England and Wales requesting that as part of their science courses they introduce mandatory modules on communication skills and elocution.
One government spokesman said the growing trend for ‘normal’ accents is ‘undermining the gravitas and integrity of British science and must stop right now.’ [read...]