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Posts Tagged ‘physics’

Nick Clegg to repeal second law of thermodynamics

speech started off well, then went a bit randomAs part of his campaign to abolish bad and unnecessary legislation, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has announced plans to abolish the second law of thermodynamics – the law that states the universal principle of entropy.

‘The British people are sick and tired of things continually breaking down,’ said Mr Clegg, ‘this law stands in the way of progress and it has to go.’ The announcement follows extensive consultation in which the public were invited to nominate the laws that they would most like to see abolished. ‘There was a clear consensus that the universal principle of decay had become a real nuisance,’ said Mr Clegg, before going on to promise what he described as ‘the biggest shake-up to the fundamental laws of physics since the Big Bang.’

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Posted: Jul 5th, 2010
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Physicists riot at pantomime after unfeasible balloon gag

'Oh no it doesn't'The rioting at Wimbledon Theatre moved into its third day yesterday, as physicists attending a pantomime continue to react angrily to a balloon gag that defied the laws of physics. ‘I like a joke as much as the next man, and I’m prepared to suspend disbelief for a night at the theatre,’ said physics lecturer Marek Banasiak, who had treated his students to a night at the theatre. ‘But when you see a man being handed a balloon, filled with air, and he subsequently begins to levitate, that really is beyond the pale of scientific feasibility.’

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2010
More from Science/Technology

Scientists curse luck after discovering parallel universe ‘even duller than our own’

every bit as dull as the one you're already in

After the initial euphoria of finally proving the existence of parallel universes, scientists at CERN, the world’s largest particle physics laboratory, were today beginning to voice open disappointment that the alternative reality they had discovered was merely a slightly less exciting version of their own. The decades of talk about wanting to understand the mysteries of the wave-particle duality and instigating a ‘once-in-a-century paradigm shift’ have been quickly forgotten as scientists struggle to come to terms with the inexplicable absence of jet-packs and sexier, ‘evil-twin’ versions of themselves.

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Posted: May 21st, 2009
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Large Hadron Collider ‘may destroy universe’, say stupid people

particle accelerator may ‘create or big black hole that will suck us all in or mess up our DNA or something’.

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2008
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Microsoft delays launch of Stephen Hawking Vista

Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2008
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