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Posts Tagged ‘Piers Morgan’

Piers Morgan voted off Celia Walden halfway through honeymoon

won't now make it to the finalFormer Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has been unceremoniously gonged off while attempting to consummate his marriage to long term girlfriend Celia Walden. A trio of celebrity judges considered Morgan’s performance to be ‘self-congratulatory’, ‘self-satisfied’ and ‘too smarmy by half’ and he was dragged off before he could finish.

According to one onlooker Daily Telegraph columnist Walden remained conscious and composed throughout. ‘I suppose she‘s used to it by now,’ he says, ‘but it was like she’d been attacked by that green thing off Ghostbusters.’

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment



Britain’s Got Talent to introduce strict ‘no clapping’ rule

'contenders must be shown due respect'A 76-rule code of conduct for ITV1’s Britain’s Got Talent will outlaw the audience from clapping, booing, whistling or whooping. ‘The new rules are very clear,’ said programme creator, Simon Cowell, ‘the audience will sit quietly and listen to the acts with the solemn reverence that they deserve. Even if it is a dancing dog.’

The 76 rules have been agreed following months of tense negotiations between programme executives, performers and judges.

Other rules include a strict limit to the number of reaction shots of Amanda Holden gawping inanely, Simon Cowell leaning backwards like a businessman expecting a lap dance and no more than three shots of Piers Morgan looking like Piers Morgan.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment



Outside the ring, ex-boxer Joe Calzaghe now faces ‘biggest cliche of his life’

his biggest opponent yet, as they sayAs a world champion boxer, Joe Calzaghe faced some terrifying opponents, says a hackneyed newspaper intro. But now he could be facing the ‘fight of his life’, according to a well known set up, and this time it’s outside of the ring, says the predictable punch line.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2010
More from Sport



Piers Morgan cries during TV interview as Gordon Brown asks about his lost moral compass

In his most revealing interview to date, Mr Morgan sobbed as he came to terms with the loss of his moral compass.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2010
More from News In Brief



ECB and Strauss in crisis talks over lack of sex scandal

The England and Wales Cricket Board has called an urgent meeting with captain Andrew Strauss over his future conduct.Sources say management are unhappy that Strauss has not upheld tradition and had a sordid sex scandal splashed in the tabloids.

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2010
More from News In Brief