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Posts Tagged ‘polar bear’

‘£3-a-month’ wildlife adoption woman overjoyed to meet polar bear at last

A woman who donates nearly £4 a month to the WWF spoke today of the heart-stopping moment when she first met her adoptive 800-pound polar bear. Jeanette Harper started sending money to the animal after seeing images of it floating about on an iceberg to a piece by Mahler, but her strong motherly instincts, prompted by receiving postcards from the bear, pushed her to take the relationship further.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2012
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Woman disfigured by chimp ‘feels safer’ after mandrill face transplant

mandrillA woman left disfigured by a violent chimp unveiled her new face last night. Keen to avoid any future attacks, doctors have replaced her face with one from a much more intimidating primate.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2011
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Government to issue polar bears to riot police

Under new emergency powers to be revealed in Parliament tomorrow, riot police will be able to deploy a specially trained bear to disperse crowds and maintain public order. Each bear has been given strict instructions to chase arsonists, looters or anyone who just looks a bit tasty. ‘We have been more than patient with these people,’ said Home Secretary Theresa May, ‘releasing a ferocious 1500 lb carnivore into the area is the only language they will understand.’

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2011
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