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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Police arrest man who failed to be devastated by Cilla’s death

A 54-year-old man from Kent is being questioned by police after showing complete indifference towards the death of national treasure, Cilla Black. The man was forcibly removed from his place of work yesterday after colleagues said he displayed an utter lack of mawkishness during the live broadcast of ‘our Cilla’s’ funeral.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2015
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Raid at Sir Cliff Richard’s house found ‘disturbing calendar images’

Some images classified ‘totally gross’.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2015
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Metropolitan Police admit to ‘investigating crime’

Met to get back to good old-fashioned snooping, discreditingThe Met has conceded that it diverted resources away from the fight against justice campaigners in order to tackle crime.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2015
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Metropolitan Police ‘still discriminating against clowns’

nothing to do with them 'looking a bit different'Twice as likely to be squirted in the face

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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Police apologise for referring to tattoos as ‘distinctive’

could be anyone...A police spokesman has issued a public apology today for recent reports suggesting that certain suspects had ‘distinctive tattoos’. ‘For example, we recently stated that a suspect wanted in connection with a triple murder had a distinctive spider’s web tattoo on his neck. ‘It has been confirmed that this narrowed the list of suspects in the UK to around 500,000 people, predominantly male, many below the age of thirty-six and with an IQ of 90 or less.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2015
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