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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Metropolitan Police admit to ‘investigating crime’

Met to get back to good old-fashioned snooping, discreditingThe Met has conceded that it diverted resources away from the fight against justice campaigners in order to tackle crime.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2015
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Metropolitan Police ‘still discriminating against clowns’

nothing to do with them 'looking a bit different'Twice as likely to be squirted in the face

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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Police apologise for referring to tattoos as ‘distinctive’

could be anyone...A police spokesman has issued a public apology today for recent reports suggesting that certain suspects had ‘distinctive tattoos’. ‘For example, we recently stated that a suspect wanted in connection with a triple murder had a distinctive spider’s web tattoo on his neck. ‘It has been confirmed that this narrowed the list of suspects in the UK to around 500,000 people, predominantly male, many below the age of thirty-six and with an IQ of 90 or less.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2015
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Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentStudents will be air-dropped, naked, into the most challenging urban areas in the country

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Posted: May 19th, 2015
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Siege ends after Edstone gives itself up

A three-day stand-off between police and Ed Miliband’s pledge stone, which had been holed up in a South-East London warehouse since Friday, has ended when the stone gave itself up.

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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