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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Veteran dog walker finally finds corpse in woods

After years of waking up early to take his dog for a walk through the woods, retiree Mike Edwards has finally found a corpse. The grim discovery, which he suspects will be the first of many, was made early yesterday morning when he noticed a hand sticking out from beneath some leaves.

‘I’ve been walking my dog through the woods every morning since I retired fifteen years ago’, said the 67-year-old. ‘Everybody knows that all dog walkers eventually find something like this, but I’ve not once found a mangled body or a skeleton. I’ve never even come across a discarded running shoe with the foot still inside. That all changed today; it’s terribly exciting’.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2014
More from UK News



Metropolitan Police admit to ‘investigating crime’

Met to get back to good old-fashioned snooping, discreditingAt a press conference, Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-O’Hooligan confirmed mounting speculation that police were increasingly targeting known and suspected criminals, but was eager to put the practice into context. ‘I am in no way condoning what has happened, but it is worth pointing out that this was just a few bad apples acting alone and without authorisation. It is now firmly in the past, and moving forward I will ensure every officer upholds the highest standards of the Metropolitan Police by focusing their investigative resources solely on spying on and discrediting those people who seek to establish the truth about cases in which the Met is involved.’

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2014
More from UK News



Terrorists to be allowed to blow up ugly buildings

government urging them to 'just get on with it'The new scheme has been described as a ‘win, win scenario’ by Home Secretary, Theresa May.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Police abandon aerosol CS gas sprays in favour of ‘roll-ons’

'get your arms up!'After protests from environmentalists, Gloucestershire Police are to stop using CS gas sprays on violent suspects and will carry a deodorant-style roll-on version instead.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Jamie Oliver creates World Cup recipes for disaster

it'll all be over in 15 minutesJamie Oliver has created an exciting new range of firm World cup snacks that can be enjoyed conveniently while staring open-mouthed at unfolding sporting disaster or genocidal pandemonium in Brazil.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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