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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Man with ‘Identikit-style’ face arrested again

A man from North London was arrested for the 16th time in three weeks last night, owing to his uncanny resemblance to the CGI face on all police ‘wanted’ posters.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2014
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Police still ‘institutionally sarcastic’ claims senior Met officer

policeBrendan Foley, Assistant Commissioner for Service Monitoring at the Metropolian Police today launched a strong attack on what he called the continued culture of ‘withering sarcasm and arch condescension’ amongst officers in the Force.

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Posted: May 21st, 2014
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Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentAfter a five-week ‘taster course’, the students will be air-dropped, naked, into the most challenging urban areas in the country, including Stoke-on-Trent and Wigan.

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
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Police reopen King Harold murder investigation

The seaside town of Hastings is in uproar today as the police reopen the King Harold killing investigation once again. Posters have been erected on billboards all around the town appealing for witnesses to the murder over one thousand years ago.

‘It’s a waste of public money,’ said one resident, pointing out that every time the authorities rake over the ashes of the Troubles there are problems, such as reduced tourist traffic from France.

The Police Commissioner is unrepentant about reopening the enquiry, though. He pointed to the original report on the killing, the Bayeux Tapestry, and noted that as evidence it was a bit thin. ‘It’s worn at the edges, too,’ he said.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2014
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‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

did he violate six statutes, or only five?In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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