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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Parents highlight ‘Security Services complete failure over daughters’ GCSEs’

The parents of three girls who were ‘radicalised’ by their classmates and subsequently took up smoking have spoken about the police’s failure not to provide more information on their children.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2015
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Boris Nemtsov committed suicide, no really

‘All the evidence, including eyewitness reports from persons, some of whom were at the incident, is that Mr Nemtsov repeatedly threw himself in front of bullets. As far as we can tell, there was nothing anyone could do.’

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2015
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Police to submit crime scene for Turner Prize

South Yorkshire Police are to enter a crime scene to this year’s Turner Prize.

After the BBC’s coverage of its raid of Cliff Richard’s home was shortlisted for a Royal Television Society award, South Yorkshire Police decided to submit the scene of a recent violent burglary to the prestigious award.

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2015
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Derbyshire cider maker arrested on terrorism charges

‘This was an especially monstrous demogration,’ he declared. ‘I was on my way to consult an oculist for my dyxlesia when I saw a huge sign demoting a terrorist group right in the arse of Derbyshire’s beer country. I drove into the terrorist camp, which was hidden in an orchard, and took the Mr Binladen into custody.’

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2014
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Republicans urge American police to ‘shoot more poor white folks’

A prominent Republican has urged American law enforcers to senselessly murder innocent white people, to ‘free police from the fashionable accusation of racism’. Senator Jimmy Smithers, who represents Hotsprings County, Alabama, received a warm welcome when he suggested officers ‘git out there and kill themselves some white guys to even the score, and make it look like nobody’s getting favoured.’ He went on to recommend the victims of the suggested shootings should be ‘poor white folk whose widows can’t afford to hire fancy lawyers.’

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2014
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