NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘police’

‘Drunk Tanks’ to replace Government ‘Think Tanks’

won't remember a thing about his new initiative in the morningThe Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has suggested that by monitoring the ‘alcohol induced’ ramblings of the ‘average Geordie’ in a ‘drunk tank’ Ministers could be provided with a range of inspired policy ideas.

Read more >

Posted: Sep 18th, 2013
More from Politics



Police on hunt for MP seen sticking to principles

‘Ms Lucas has been reported flashing her values for all to see,’ said a spokesman for Sussex constabulary. ‘This is a clear attempt to expose the young and impressionable to the concept of duty, solidarity and lentil soup. Clearly she must be stopped.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 21st, 2013
More from News In Brief



Belfast needs to be ‘more ginger, gay and Cockney’

Northern Ireland’s Chief Constable Matt Baggott has said that the only way the province can have a peaceful marching season is by sporting a red fluorescent mullet while wearing a lycra onesie covered in ‘mother of pearl’ buttons.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 12th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Glaswegian attack victim slams ‘rubbish’ muggers

Och, take it, nae bother.A man left mildly injured by an inexperienced gang of muggers in the east end of Glasgow has spoken out against the ‘poor quality’ of the assault.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 11th, 2013
More from UK News



Terrorists to be allowed to blow up ugly buildings

government urging them to 'just get on with it'The Government today launched its innovative Integrated Terrorism and Urban Renewal Scheme with the successful destruction of a condemned concrete multi-storey car park in Wolverhampton by an alleged jihadist sympathiser.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 25th, 2013
More from UK News