NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘police’

Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentAfter a five-week ‘taster course’, the students will be air-dropped, naked, into the most challenging urban areas in the country, including Stoke-on-Trent and Wigan.

Read more >

Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Police reopen King Harold murder investigation

The seaside town of Hastings is in uproar today as the police reopen the King Harold killing investigation once again. Posters have been erected on billboards all around the town appealing for witnesses to the murder over one thousand years ago.

‘It’s a waste of public money,’ said one resident, pointing out that every time the authorities rake over the ashes of the Troubles there are problems, such as reduced tourist traffic from France.

The Police Commissioner is unrepentant about reopening the enquiry, though. He pointed to the original report on the killing, the Bayeux Tapestry, and noted that as evidence it was a bit thin. ‘It’s worn at the edges, too,’ he said.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 2nd, 2014
More from UK News



‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

did he violate six statutes, or only five?In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
More from UK News



Creationist urges police to charge him despite ‘complete lack of evidence’

God told him to do it, or maybe He didn'tA creationist has confused the whole of the judicial system by insisting the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) push forward and charge him with ‘threatening behaviour’ despite a complete lack of evidence.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Stop & Search to be replaced by Slap n’ Tickle

While the inquest into Mark Duggan’s death may have exonerated officers, the Independent Police Complaints Commission is expected to recommend a radical overhaul of community policing, acts of foreplay and anything involving inflatable fruit. With over 27% of stop and search actions lacking ‘legitimacy’, the Home Office had strongly recommend a more flirtatious approach by law enforcement agencies.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief