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Posts Tagged ‘politicians’

New laws to tell people if they are living next to a suspected politician ‘will not lead to vigilante attacks’

The Government has today sought to reassure the public that their controversial plans to help parents identify political animals – the so-called ‘David Laws’ – will not lead to unprovoked attacks on innocent people.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2015
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Eton declared ‘inadequate’ for producing mediocre politicians

'Just enough is not good enough'The National Union of Teachers has called for Eton College to be placed in ‘special measures’ as soon as possible because the elitist educational establishment has continued to produce students who have gone on to become substandard politicians.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2015
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Politicians to replace faulty moral compass with new Ethical Sat Nav

Members of Parliament need never get lost againMPs are preparing for the arrival of a new piece of wearable technology that will help them navigate difficult terrain and always guide them towards the high moral ground.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2014
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Nonces ‘appalled’ by allegations that some might be MPs

‘I haven’t been able to sleep since these allegations started. What will my family think of me? I can’t leave my own home – kids have painted ‘MP scum’ on my front door.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Roman middle classes ‘furious’ at government’s response to volcanic apocalypse

infamy, infamy..Pompeii could have been saved from the magma waves if the authorities had done more to protect its buildings than stack piles of surplus slaves up in front of the doors, local residents claimed yesterday.

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Posted: Feb 12th, 2014
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