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Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Brits triumph at the Corrupt Politician Awards

British stars were out in force at the Corrupt Politician Awards, held last night in a luxurious but secret overseas location at the UK taxpayers’ expense. Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind showed that British sleaze is still as strong as ever and were delighted to pick up the top prizes of lucrative contracts with companies that may or may not exist.

‘It makes you proud to be British’ said the BBC’s Nick Robinson, from beside the red carpet, where the M.P.s posed for photographs by putting their hands over their faces before going inside to be secretly filmed receiving their cash prizes. ‘Britain has shown it is a world force when it comes to dodgy politicians. It takes you back to the hey-day of British sleaze.’

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2015
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Primary school children call for sex education for MPs

Some MPs less clued up on relationships than 7-year-oldsA report by an influential committee of schoolchildren has urged the Government do more to ensure the nation’s MPs get the sex and relationships education they need to form healthy relationships with others.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2015
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HSBC bosses ‘very naughty boys’, says giggling Prime Minister

Executives at shamed bank HSBC are ‘very naughty boys’ who deserve ‘a good going over’, said a smirking Prime Minister David Cameron in a press conference earlier today. Mr Cameron made the statement when asked by journalists and followed his assertion with a wagging finger.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Facebook to be split into ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ divisions

'quantitative poking' button coming soonFollowing its plans to break up Britain’s banks, the EU has announced controversial proposals to separate Facebook into two distinct ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ units.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2015
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Britain mourns Saudi king by hanging prisoners at half mast

Human rights campaigners have condemned the British government’s decision to show solidarity with mourning Saudis by hanging prisoners at half mast. Shoplifters, car thieves and a woman who was once caught dancing are among those currently hoisted over palaces and government buildings.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2015
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