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Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Large Hadron Collider could let foreign particles in, complains Farage

looks like a giant arsehole, and so does the LHCNigel Farage has slammed the Large Hadron Collider for taking two years off work then coming back online to ‘deliberately introduce dark matter into an already crowded Universe’. The UKIP leader has long highlighted quantum immigration as an ‘explosive issue’ for the general election.

‘Frankly we just don’t have the infrastructure to assimilate all these new particles’, Farage raged, taking an earnest boggle-eyed bantam stance. ‘It has been openly admitted that we don’t really know where all these ‘exotic particles’ originate and we know far less about their skills and employment records. How do we know that the minute these particles are created, they won’t go straight on benefits?’

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2015
More from Science/Technology



Old dogs no longer funded for trick-based education

might as well just curl up and sleep on it in front of the fireThe Department for Business Innovation and Skills (BIS) has decided to cut 24% from the adult education budget to remove a culture of just ‘fetching sticks’ and looking cute.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2015
More from Education, Politics



TV debates to be settled by ‘head punching contests’ say Broadcasters

all in the name of entertainment for the massesTV broadcasters have decided to ditch the debating format trialed in the 2010 election in which leaders debated policy and outlined pledges and will replace it instead with a series of ‘head punching contests’, confirmed Sue Inglish, Head of Political Programming at the BBC.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2015
More from Politics



Edinburgh hails sculpture of ‘huge pair of bollocks’ Scotland will have England by

A twenty metre bronze sculpture of a pair of English bollocks will be erected in Edinburgh’s George Square a week before the General Election. ‘The Bollocks We’ve Got England By,’ to give the artwork its full title, will show a pair of Union Jack testicles being painfully squeezed by a hand draped in a St Andrews Cross flag.

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Miliband rules out installing third kitchen

Ed Miliband has told the BBC that he will not be installing a third kitchen in his North London home. In an interview with BBC deputy political editor James Landale, Miliband said that he felt that two kitchens was enough for all the cooking he wanted to do.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
More from News In Brief