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Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

HSBC bosses ‘very naughty boys’, says giggling Prime Minister

Executives at shamed bank HSBC are ‘very naughty boys’ who deserve ‘a good going over’, said a smirking Prime Minister David Cameron in a press conference earlier today. Mr Cameron made the statement when asked by journalists and followed his assertion with a wagging finger.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Facebook to be split into ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ divisions

'quantitative poking' button coming soonFollowing its plans to break up Britain’s banks, the EU has announced controversial proposals to separate Facebook into two distinct ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ units.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2015
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Britain mourns Saudi king by hanging prisoners at half mast

Human rights campaigners have condemned the British government’s decision to show solidarity with mourning Saudis by hanging prisoners at half mast. Shoplifters, car thieves and a woman who was once caught dancing are among those currently hoisted over palaces and government buildings.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2015
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New figures show hospital patients waiting too long to be put into cupboards

A new report has also confirmed that many patients are suffering the indignity of having to share large rooms, or ‘wards’, with other sick people while waiting for cupboards to become available.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2015
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Enoch Powell Pound Shop to close

'easing the economic burden of immigration' since 1968Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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