‘Pylovarz’ chronicles the life of George IV’s pedicurist Campbell McDougall. It originally included a chorus of Tibetan monks chanting in time with a de-tuned Pianola. [read...]
Aliens have confirmed that they’ve never landed on Earth because they can’t stomach easy listening music. ‘We buzzed a Lighthouse Family concert in Tunbridge Wells and thought “Has it really come to this?”’ said a spokesextraterrestrial. [read...]
The prestigious Saturday night headlining slot at this year’s Reading Festival has been announced and it’s some group that you know absolutely nothing about, being over the age of 22 and therefore ‘past it’. [read...]
‘A much more precise figure for Jessie’s lesbianism is 93.759%,’ said Professor Edward Simpson of the Institute of Sensual Calculus. [read...]
The music industry has today conceded that the reason all modern songs sound the same is because they ran out of new songs more than a decade ago. [read...]
