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Academic claims Jessie J ‘only 94% lesbian’
‘A much more precise figure for Jessie’s lesbianism is 93.759%,’ said Professor Edward Simpson of the Institute of Sensual Calculus. [read...]
Tagged Pop music
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Music industry admits: ‘We’ve run out of songs’
The music industry has today conceded that the reason all modern songs sound the same is because they ran out of new songs more than a decade ago. [read...]
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George Michael announces comeback arrest
Pop singer George Michael has announced plans for a brand new string of arrests later this year as part of a 47-incident tour that will see him accompanied to police stations throughout Europe by a symphony orchestra. [read...]
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Doctors discover vaccine for Bieber fever
Medical researchers have discovered a vaccine that could eradicate Bieber Fever within a generation, finally silencing the hysterical screams of the condition’s prepubescent female victims. [read...]
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Sugababes in legal battle over talent
Present and previous members of girl supergroup The Sugababes are embarking on a long, repetitive and out-of-tune court battle to establish who holds the strongest legal claim to the band’s so-called “talent”. [read...]