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Posts Tagged ‘Pope Benedict’

God ‘probably going to call it a day’ as well

God, the Lord Creator of Heaven and Earth, has announced that in the wake of Pope Benedict’s resignation, He too is thinking about ‘calling time on the whole creation thing’.

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Posted: Feb 11th, 2013
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Cheering crowds greet first orgasm since 1993

‘Poor Bridget hasn’t been able to crack one off on her own even in the privacy of her own bedroom in case she goes blind and her hands drop off.’

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2011
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Pope withdraws from UK at last minute

Pope Benedict XVI last night pulled out of the UK ‘just in time’, leaving both himself and the nation’s Catholics in a state of high excitement.

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2010
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Pope forgot to cancel subscription to Hitler Youth in 1945

Still enjoys the lively discussions on the magazine's letters page‘You know how it is. Unless you remember to opt out of these things they automatically renew your membership, and it’s easy not to spot them on your bank statement.’

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Posted: Sep 16th, 2010
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Pope condemns same-sex coalition

A diplomatic row with the Vatican looms after the Pope issued a stinging condemnation of same-sex Coalition, leading new prime minister David Cameron to insist: ‘I agree with Nick, and that’s as far as it goes, except, like, once or twice, but we were really, really drunk.’

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Posted: May 17th, 2010
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