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Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

Pope Francis asks Ex-Pope to stop ‘dropping by’ to hang out

‘It’s always lovely to see you, but, to be honest we’re all really busy here.’

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2013
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Bishop confuses ‘the crib’ for ‘da crib’

The Vatican have suspended Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst amid fears that he has gone ‘gangsta’ on them. Parishioners attest to hearing the Bishop of Limburg using the ‘n’ word when referring to the Pope, calling his choir boys ‘my bitches’ and ‘bustin out some phat beats’ on the church organ.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2013
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Catholic Church makes early withdrawal from contraception forum

European leaders have failed to reach agreement on a forum at contraception in the Dutch Capital, Den Haag. The event had a mixed reception from the start and was overshadowed by the Vatican representative’s withdrawal just before the climax, uttering a hurried ‘Sorry, I have to shoot’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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Teenage girls fear Pope Francis will ‘do a Bieber’ at inauguration mass

he's just, like, soooo different to all the other popesThousands of Catholic teenage girls are ‘worried sick’ that Pope Francis will turn up late for his inauguration mass in Rome today.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2013
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Axed Tulisa to replace Cardinal O’Brien on Papal election panel

In the wake of the shock decision by X Factor producers to axe female judge Tulisa Contostavlos from the Show, the Vatican has come to her rescue by inviting her to join the conclave of Cardinals in Vatican City as they start the process to select a new pope.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2013
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