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Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

Black smoke from Sistine Chapel suggests cardinals smoking ‘some really strong shit’

chill-out organ music playing in the backgroundPractised observers of the papal conclave, which got underway in Rome yesterday, have described the first black smoke to emerge from the Sistine Chapel chimney as ‘thick, potent, and smelling suspiciously of weed’.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2013
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Axed Tulisa to replace Cardinal O’Brien on Papal election panel

In the wake of the shock decision by X Factor producers to axe female judge Tulisa Contostavlos from the Show, the Vatican has come to her rescue by inviting her to join the conclave of Cardinals in Vatican City as they start the process to select a new pope.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2013
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Stars out in force at this year’s Vatican Awards

and the award for best ecumenical matter goes to....As always, it was the dresses that caused the biggest sensation.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2013
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Nations begin traditional Christmas warfare

potential for worst nuclear winter since records beganCountries around the world have begun bombing each other in the run up to Christmas.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2012
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Pope’s ex-butler pleads ‘lock me up’ after Vatican threatens ‘almighty kicking’

benedictus sanctusFormer papal butler Paolo Gabriele has broken down in an Italian court and begged to be locked up, after receiving threats from the Vatican to ‘make that scene from Reservoir Dogs look like a Harvest f*cking Festival.’

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2012
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