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Posts Tagged ‘pork’

Gaza ceasefire made possible by shared love of Quorn

the basis for a two-course solutionMiddle-east negotiators have told journalists how they hope to broker a ceasefire agreement by reminding both sides that they share a love of Quorn meat-free products.

‘We were desperately trying to come up with some common ground over breakfast yesterday morning,’ explained UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon. ‘Just as I was popping a piece of succulent pork sausage into my mouth I suddenly thought, neither the Israelis nor the Palestinians would be able to do that. Then it hit me – they both probably love Quorn sausages instead! They’ve got no pork in them, they’re perfect for both religions.’

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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Muslim shopkeeper refuses to stop selling alcohol to atheists

not for everyoneBaz Hassan, 37, owner of the Bearwood Booze off licence in Smethwick, has said he will not stop selling dangerous amounts of alcohol to atheists, agnostics and Christians, despite calls from leaders of the drinking community to respect cultural weaknesses of these vulnerable groups.

Although a non-drinker and vegetarian himself, Mr Hassan says he will continue to exploit unbelievers with heavily-promoted multibuy offers on strong lager, cheap vodka, sausage rolls and smoky bacon crisps. He certainly has no time for fellow Muslims who refuse to sell such products at all, who he accuses of exhibiting dangerous liberal tendencies.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2014
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