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Posts Tagged ‘porn’

Adult entertainment industry mourns death of last man to pay for porn

Adult entertainers throughout the world flocked to a crematorium in south London yesterday to pay their dues to Eric Swell, the last known purchaser of full-price pornography. Germans and Swedes rubbed shoulders in the packed chapel as Mr Swell’s coffin glided through the curtains to the moving strains of ‘slap funk bass incidental 5 – the plumber rings the doorbell’.

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Posted: May 14th, 2013
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‘Hot horny lesbians’ fail to invite balding middle-aged guy to join in

The world of casual troilism was turned on its head yesterday when a slightly overweight middle-aged man was shunned by two lesbians after walking in on them in the middle of a steamy girl-on-girl love-making session at their luxury, brightly-lit home.

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2013
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‘Imagine a world without free porn’, says blacked-out Wikipedia

Wikipedia's biggest audience everThe organisers of the online encyclopedia Wikipedia have warned web surfers that proposed legislation in the US may take us ‘back to the dark ages’ when it was necessary to pay to see women’s breasts.

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2012
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Porn site taken offline after hackers flood it with Sesame Street videos

YouPorn, the adult video site, was off line for several hours last night after hackers uploaded multiple clips of Sesame Street to the bongo file-sharing site.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2011
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Plumber left struggling to work out how pretty lady customer might pay his bill

When Dave Cormack finished tightening the nuts under the sink, he emerged at the feet of Samantha, taking in the view as he rose until his diminutive frame left his eyes level with her bosom. ‘That’s a pretty negligee,’ he said, ‘and a Yorkshire elbow and two hoses, call it thirty quid love.’

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2011
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