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Posts Tagged ‘poundland’

Drone captures eerie image of abandoned X-Factor hopeful

A drone flying over the Basingstoke area has captured ‘spine-tingling’ and ‘disturbing’ images of a former X-Factor contestant, who had been personally built by Simon Cowell out of blonde highlights and his old Versace suits but was subsequently abandoned when a similar contestant on a rival show had ‘gone nuclear’ smashing up a famous London eaterie.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2015
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Scientists abandon search for life at utility company call centres

‘After spending 40 minutes listening to hold music, we’re better off trying to contact extra terrestrials many light years from earth,’ concluded scientists.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Poundland Christmas advert features ‘semi-attractive rat’

advert cost £1 to makeDiscount high street chain Poundland have unveiled their 2014 advert for Christmas, featuring an instrumental remix of Christmas songs by some Dutch band, and seasonal visuals of a white rat sniffing around a stack of boxes labelled ‘Great value’ and ‘Super fun’, as well as ‘Cheap rubbish’ and ‘Xmas tat’. Some of the boxes have their ‘This Way Up’ warnings hilariously upside down.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2014
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Poundland warns Scots about the price of independence

The Chief Executive of Scotland’s premier purveyor of luxury foodstuffs, Poundland, has joined in the referendum debate. CEO Mr. John Bull has been lobbying Downing Street to relent over their hard line stance about currency union in the wake off a ’yes’ vote in next week’s referendum, but with little success.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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Poundland worker goes berserk in change-giving spree

Colin Turner – who gave out a total of £10,000, plus 27 pence of his own money before he was restrained by colleagues – told investigators that years of dealing largely in notes and pound coins had made him finally snap.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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