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Posts Tagged ‘poundland’

Poundland declares independence from UK

Poundland has announced that it intends to become an independent sovereign state, and will now instead be known as the Democratic People’s Republic of Poundland.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2013
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Scientists abandon search for life at utility company call centres

‘After spending 40 minutes listening to hold music, we’re better off trying to contact extra terrestrials many light years from earth,’ concluded scientists.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2012
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Eurozone crisis solved as France and Germany join the pound

‘In hindsight, combining both stable and weak economies to form the euro was a bit like inviting a dozen people from the nearest sink estate to become joint holders on your bank account.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
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Waitrose to open Guinea Land discount shops

Marketing director Rupert Thomas said that Guinea Land would stock many Waitrose favourites but in smaller quantities, saying he was sure customers would find £1.05 for a matched pair of Bath Oliver biscuits excellent value. He added that while the Duchy Original range was too expensive for Guinea Land, a new Duchy Fake range had been created by the Duchess of York from recipes by Johann Hari.

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2011
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Thief hits all time low being caught Xmas shoplifting at Poundland

will be released on bail if he can raise £2.43Small-time criminal Jed Simmonds admitted he had reached rock bottom after being caught shoplifting at Poundland, the high-street bargain basement store.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2010
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