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Posts Tagged ‘prayer’

US Ebola missionary saved by ‘advanced experimental prayer’

US missionary Dr Kent Bradley was said today to be recovering at home after being given the all-clear after his prayers beat a nasty case of Ebola he picked up while working as a missionary in Liberia.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2014
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Fears that Prayer Super Collider may usher in Apocalypse

The prayers are to be fired in opposite directions at enormous speeds through the 12 kilometre Prayer Super Collider ring buried deep below Salt Lake City, Utah, in the most ambitious theological experiment since the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury met head-on in the Large Hadron Collider.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2012
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Search now on for those who prayed for Muamba’s collapse in the first place

Messi next: Quarter finals: Brazil 2014With concern for Fabrice Muamba’s welfare subsiding, the police have formally announced that the search is already underway for those who must have prayed that he suddenly collapse with a heart condition in order for it to happen in the first place.

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2012
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God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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Church tells impatient worshippers ‘Your prayer is important to us’

988-rowanThe Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, today announced the introduction of a new prayer-handling service which he called ‘the most significant overhaul of Christianity’s customer services during its 2000-year history‘. The move follows increased competition between spiritual providers, and industry insiders say the Church of England has been forced to modernise or risk losing praying customers to other religions who are now offering some lucrative posthumous deals to their most fanatical followers.

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2009
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