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Posts Tagged ‘Premier League’

Richard Scudamore challenges all women to an arm-wrestle

'Lasses, eh!?'With what is being seen as a vain attempt to garner support for his derogatory references to ‘female irrationality’, the Premier League’s chief executive has promised to prove his gender’s superiority through a series of ‘herculean tasks’. The beleaguered football boss is said to have thrown down the gauntlet to all women to try and beat him at ‘spitting’, ‘trapping spiders’ and ‘weeing standing up.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
More from Sport



Football chairmen invest in world’s most expensive merry-go-round

roll-up, roll-up for the ride of your life!The biggest, fastest and most costly carousel in the world has been ordered by a group of ambitious football club owners in time for next season. Set in an unfairground just outside the Promised Land, the new ride will entertain some of the richest football managers from around the world between terminated but lucrative contracts. The owners have high hopes that their merry-go-round will become, and remain for several years to come, a premier attraction.

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Posted: May 14th, 2014
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Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit

Cardiff City have sent a 5-page letter of complaint to the Premier League arguing that their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace in early April should not stand. The Welsh club claim to have firm evidence showing that Palace staff knew in advance that Cardiff were shit. Lawyers for the relegation threatened club allege in the letter that Palace boss Tony Pulis had watched Cardiff City play in the run up to the fixture and had even watched them a bit on Match of the Day the previous week.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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Jack Wilshere determined to be fit in time to get injured in World Cup

Jack Wilshere has vowed to do everything he can to ensure that he’s fit in time to get injured again in this summer’s World Cup in Brazil. The injury prone Arsenal midfielder told reporters today that he’s confident he will have recovered from the broken bone in his foot in time to come a cropper against Italy on June 14th.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Boy George denied England captaincy because he was ‘no good at football’

In the next chapter of ‘I’m a fading celebrity with a book launch coming up’, Boy George has declared that he would have been ‘a shoo-in’ to captain the England football team into ‘at least two world cups’, but for the discrimination directed towards him by the FA because he was ‘completely useless at football’, having shown utter ineptitude for the sport at school and giving up playing soon afterwards to pursue a career in music.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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