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Posts Tagged ‘Premier League’

Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit

Cardiff City have sent a 5-page letter of complaint to the Premier League arguing that their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace in early April should not stand. The Welsh club claim to have firm evidence showing that Palace staff knew in advance that Cardiff were shit. Lawyers for the relegation threatened club allege in the letter that Palace boss Tony Pulis had watched Cardiff City play in the run up to the fixture and had even watched them a bit on Match of the Day the previous week.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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Jack Wilshere determined to be fit in time to get injured in World Cup

Jack Wilshere has vowed to do everything he can to ensure that he’s fit in time to get injured again in this summer’s World Cup in Brazil. The injury prone Arsenal midfielder told reporters today that he’s confident he will have recovered from the broken bone in his foot in time to come a cropper against Italy on June 14th.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
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Boy George denied England captaincy because he was ‘no good at football’

In the next chapter of ‘I’m a fading celebrity with a book launch coming up’, Boy George has declared that he would have been ‘a shoo-in’ to captain the England football team into ‘at least two world cups’, but for the discrimination directed towards him by the FA because he was ‘completely useless at football’, having shown utter ineptitude for the sport at school and giving up playing soon afterwards to pursue a career in music.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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Army called in to take charge after all Premier League managers sacked

should be all over by ChristmasThe government’s emergency committee, Cobra, was hastily convened and concluded that the only viable option to get the league back on track and reassure the general punters was to bring in the troops.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2013
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Players would like a return to sitting during matches, say PFA

A survey carried out by the PFA found most leading players would like seats installed on the pitch so they can have a sit-down during a game to catch up on their blog, update their FaceBook status, tweet their girlfriends or watch TV during Premiership matches.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2013
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