Trump who has made millions from real estate, hotels and casinos is now better known for his TV appearances and very convincing head of hair.  He was seen by some commentators as an outsider for the Republican nomination; ‘It would have been a bit of a risk to go with a maverick outsider who knows nothing about politics or world affairs’ said one Congressman, ‘when we have the safer, more moderate option of Sarah Palin already waiting in the wings.’

But Trump’s no-nonsense Apprentice-style approach was said to have a certain appeal in many of the swing states. ‘Running a country is no different to running a business’ said a spokesman for the Trump campaign.  ‘And if Detroit doesn’t shape up, it should have to ship out! If any American cities or states are costing us more in Federal Assistance than they are providing in tax revenues, then they are clearly in the wrong country.  We are not running some Communist charity here!’

Trump was apparently thinking of giving challenging tasks to various states, such as asking Rhode Island to come up with an exit strategy for Iraq, or asking Maine to rebuild New Orleans. ‘Each week we could have lost one star from the star spangled banner, until we were just left with all the winners.’

His favourites for the chop were West Virginia, two of New York City’s five boroughs and Hawaii.  ‘Hawaii isn’t actually making a loss,’ confessed Trump, ‘but that was the only way we thought we could prove that President Obama had not been born in the USA.’

‘It’s been a struggle,’ admitted Gore in an interview with Fox News. ‘I’ve grown to hate that man Bush more than I thought could be possible. Not only do I get up each day to find that he’s doing the job I should be doing, I then have to pretend to go and do it anyway.’ Gore went on to describe how he has employed a team of ‘advisors’ and ‘security personnel’ to supervise wife Tipper and keep her away from all forms of media in case she caught on that her husband wasn’t actually the 43rd president of the United States.

‘Obviously Tipper was keen to get into the White House and make her mark on the place, but I had to keep stalling her,’ Gore explained. ‘At first I claimed it was being redecorated, but that only bought me a few weeks, so then I said there was subsidence. I was quite pleased with that one, but it was 9/11 that really put me in the clear. After that I was able to tell her that the CIA had credible intelligence the White House was a target for terrorists and it was best we just stayed put in the family home in Nashville, Tennessee.’

Although Gore admitted that he felt awful regaling his wife each night with accounts of his fictional successes while the real president fouled up the economy and foreign relations, it was filling the time that proved his biggest challenge. ‘To be honest, I’d never been too fussed about the environment or good causes,’ he said, ‘but everyone needs a hobby and there are only so many times I could recount all those votes cast in Florida.’

While Tipper Gore is reported to be looking forward to resuming normal life after the conclusion of husband Al’s ‘second term’ on 20 January, she has apparently written to Michelle Obama warning her that being First Lady may not turn out to be quite what she’d expected. Gore meanwhile has conceded that he’ll need to draw on all the qualities that made him one of America’s greatest presidents if he is to explain to his wife the recent deterioration in Israeli-Palestinian relations following the historic 2003 ‘President Gore Peace Accord’.