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Posts Tagged ‘primark’

Woman refuses to give birth in Primark

not even the 50% off signs could tempt her inDespite being wracked with labour pains and hobbled by a small head erupting from her vagina, an unnamed 28-year-old woman from Birmingham has been hailed as a hero for resolutely refusing to be lulled by Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear and give birth in the shop.

As her waters broke, her cervix dilated and her 25%-off voucher expired, the woman dragged herself away from the lure of a sale on floral dresses. Groaning as her membranes ruptured, every maternal instinct made her abandon a rail of bargain kids’ clothing in the hope that her child would be born to a better future, with better stitching.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
More from UK News



‘Rioters display poor technique’ claims Toxteth riot veteran

way too much larking about these daysJohn Ashurst, TV pundit and veteran of the 1981 Toxteth riots in Liverpool today slammed what he called the ‘highly suspect’ techniques of many of the rioters who have wreaked havoc on English streets over the last few days.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2011
More from Sport, UK News



Campaigners attack sexualisation of foetuses

‘Images of naked foetuses are being casually passed around by pregnant women in wine bars and school playgrounds.’

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Retailers slammed for selling ‘pervy’ school uniforms

David Cameron and Mumsnet joined forces today to criticise leading high street retailers for stocking fetish-like school uniforms aimed at girls as young as four.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2010
More from News In Brief