‘Well, although I concede that God abandoned his Son, that doesn’t make him as bad as a drink driver. We all have to make sacrifices sometimes. God is not a bad dad.’
Posted: Jun 20th, 2011
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David Cameron today unveiled plans for new legislation which will double the time limit during which it is acceptable to blame the previous government for the nation’s problems.
Posted: Dec 16th, 2010
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Apparently spent several hours editing his own Wikipedia entry.
Posted: May 16th, 2010
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Only a year after the inauguration of the first black President of the United States, equalities campaigners are celebrating a changed Britain after a white upper-class man this week ascended to the highest political office in the land.
‘It’s humbling, a real riches to riches story,’ admitted new Prime Minister, David Cameron, addressing his deprived constituents today in Witney, Oxfordshire. ‘When I was growing up on an estate in Berkshire, I never dreamed that someone like me could become anything more than a high court judge or chief executive of an investment bank. I was the first person in my family to go to university by private jet. To be honest, the whole thing hasn’t really sunk in yet – I have to keep asking my valet to pinch me.’
Posted: May 15th, 2010
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In an attempt to cut the soaring administrative costs incurred every time the Prime Minister announces a new or merged ministry, senior civil servants have issued a new edict stating that from now all government departments shall be known as ‘DCTS’.
Posted: Aug 5th, 2009
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