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Posts Tagged ‘Prince Philip’

85 dead after Prince Philip unveils plague at bridge opening

Health authorities have confirmed that a total of 85 people have died and over 120 are still in a serious condition in hospital after Prince Philip accidentally released a plague at the opening of a new footbridge over the River Thames due to a typographical error.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2015
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Queen ‘disappointed at lack of rap singers’ in honours list

Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Her Majesty the Queen has expressed dismay that British rap and hip hop singers are almost absent from the New Years Honours list this year. Sir Bob Kerslake, who has drafted the last five lists, stated that Her Majesty said ‘One’s seriously dischuffed’ at the lack of such singers, who she regards as ‘well good’. Sir Bob admitted that he didn’t know any rap singers, however he understood that both Her Majesty and Prince Philip are fans of the genre.

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2014
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Prince Philip admits he may not live to offend everyone

still honing 'classic one-liner' on geriatric Royals‘You’ve got the hearing-impaired, the partially sighted, same-sex this, transgender that… It’s impossible to keep up, but one does one’s best.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2014
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Prince George rules Lego world with an iron fist

The Queen and senior members of the Royal Family have spoken of their ‘delight’ today after an official video showed one-year-old Prince George ruling his Lego kingdom with an authoritarian zeal unseen since the early Stuart period.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2014
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Vatican Guards find Pope rolling in the aisles

His Holiness Pope Francis was discovered in the early hours of this morning, rolling in the aisles of St Peter’s basilica. The alarm was raised after a nun, on a moonlit vigil, mistakenly heard what she thought to be a drunken vagrant, singing and laughing inside the locked church.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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