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Posts Tagged ‘Prince Philip’

Vatican Guards find Pope rolling in the aisles

His Holiness Pope Francis was discovered in the early hours of this morning, rolling in the aisles of St Peter’s basilica. The alarm was raised after a nun, on a moonlit vigil, mistakenly heard what she thought to be a drunken vagrant, singing and laughing inside the locked church.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Chinese refurbishment of Prince Philip ‘poses no security risk’

'don't make fuss', the Duke is reported to have saidThe contract to refurbish Prince Philip has been awarded to Chinese telecommunications giant Huawei, it was confirmed yesterday, despite ongoing security concerns about the company’s links to the Chinese government.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2013
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Royal Family to be fracked for shale gas

Exploratory abdominal surgery on the Duke of Edinburgh has exposed gas reserves much ‘bigger than first thought’. The operation, under general anaesthetic, has revealed upwards of 170 trillion cubic feet of natural gas and will pave the way for the licensing to exploit further Royals.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2013
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Prince Philip ‘showing worrying signs of being back on good form’

‘Unfortunately,’ said psychiatrist Dr Karen Young, ‘the Duke seems to be back to that previous period of robust form when, during a state visit to China, he told a group of British students: ‘If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed’; or when he told a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea:’You managed not to get eaten,then?’

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2013
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Doctors urge Prince Philip to refrain from ‘Greek’

consortDoctors examining the Duke of Edinburgh in hospital have urged him to practice more conventional forms of intercourse if he is to avoid further bladder infections.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2012
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