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Posts Tagged ‘Prince Philip’

What Queen actually needs is a stiff drink, insists Palace

After Prince Harry claimed that the Queen relies on the love and support of The Duke of Edinburgh, Buckingham Palace has rebuked him publicly and insisted that she actually relies on a steady supply of gin to get her through the tedious business of reigning over us.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2012
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Queen’s Christmas message to be replaced with round-robin letter

‘One wishes William and Kate every happiness for the future, but William is his father’s son so we were sure to set up a cast-iron pre-nuptial agreement – and Philip has a contact he can call if ever things get out of hand.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2011
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Kate and Wills ‘doing up’ Kensington Palace to sell it on

‘Apparently the last person to live in this gaff was some single mother from Norfolk, so it needs quite a bit of work.’ said Kate, scratching her arse whilst brandishing a paint roller.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2011
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Royal hitman ‘Phil the Greek’ mulls one last job

not in my Manor!Phil ‘The Greek’ Windsor, the long-time enforcer for Britain’s most notorious crime family, is apparently considering coming out of retirement for one last big payday and liquidating a young family member known as Andy ‘Duke of York’ for bringing humiliation on the clan.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2011
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Colin Firth to star in King’s Speech sequel, The Queen’s Accent

Set in 1952, the film tells the moving story of the young Queen Elizabeth, who ascends to the throne but is unable to speak in public without sounding like she was being strangled.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2011
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