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Posts Tagged ‘Prince William’

Royal Family finally granted Jennie Bond restraining order

'The name's Bond. Can I have a look in your bin...?'‘We’ve had several run-ins with Jennie over the years for approaching members of the family with a Fisher Price microphone that wasn’t actually connected to anything’.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
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Independent Scotland ‘will never know sex of Royal baby’, says PM

Won't be called Alex, that's for sureDavid Cameron has denied that the campaign against Scottish independence has ‘run out of ideas’ today by announcing that an independent Scotland will ‘never find out’ what sex the new Royal baby turns out to be. ‘I won’t tell you whether it’s a girl or a boy, and you won’t be able to watch BBC News 24 to find out either,’ the prime minister said at a Better Together hustings in Dumfries. ‘And don’t expect the Queen to tell you either, if you vote yes she’ll be bloody furious.’

The Royal baby news has caused an otherwise leaden referendum campaign to explode into life. Scottish Labour MP Jim Murphy has returned to his tedious tour of Scotland’s high streets, temporarily abandoned last week after an egg-throwing voter accused him of ‘not talking about the Royal family enough’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014
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PM unveils curbs on ‘exploitative, degrading, irritating’ Royal baby coverage

determined to shut down access to baby pornEvery household in the UK is to have endless, vacuous reporting of the birth and infancy of the Royal baby blocked by their internet provider unless they choose to receive it, David Cameron has announced.

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2014
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24-hour ceasefire announced in Gaza to celebrate Prince George’s 1st birthday

‘Even though we have lost 600 of our people in 14 days nothing raises the spirits like a royal occasion, if only for a few hours before the slaughter starts again.’

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2014
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Thousands march on Parliament to demand more baby George pictures

The streets on central London today saw one of its largest ever protest marches as activists, unions and ordinary working people demanded more images of the Queen’s great grandson and third in line to the throne crawling, walking and playing with blocks.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
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