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Posts Tagged ‘Prince William’

Alan Titchmarsh and Alistair Darling rushed in to ‘bore the Royal baby out’

don't get him started on the fecundity of naturePrince William has enlisted the services of gardening guru Alan Titchmarsh, with help from former chancellor Alistair Darling, in a desperate bid to induce the future monarch out of Kate Middleton’s womb by the magic of tedium.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2013
More from Celebrity, UK News



William rules out ‘Vindaloo and shag’ option for inducing future monarch

The Gynaecologist Royal Dr Sir Mark Smedhurst was rebuffed today after suggesting the time honoured solution of a blistering hot curry and a vigorous seeing to as a way of hastening much-awaited events in the Royal Household.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Royal baby to be delivered by hereditary obstetrician

The Royal Family is reported to be delighted on learning that the post of obstetrician at St Mary’s Hospital is an ancient title passed down through the male line since the Middle Ages. ‘It feels so appropriate,’ said a Palace spokesman, gritting his teeth.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Fears that Royal baby may be victim of ‘accident of birth’

it's getting the silver spoon out intact that's going to be the tricky bitSources close to the royal family say there is widespread fear that the yet-to-be-born next-monarch-but-two might suffer from ‘accident of birth’ syndrome.

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2013
More from Celebrity, UK News



‘Cambridge Bump’ more popular visitor attraction than the Gherkin

The ETB spokesman pointed out that the Cambridge Bump would disappear in the summer and sightseers would have to wait at least nine months for sight of Cambridge Bump Mark 2.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2013
More from News In Brief