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Posts Tagged ‘Quantum Mechanics’

‘Antimatter IRA’ new threat to national security, the structure of reality

The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, these could be anything from sachets of McDonalds’ discontinued ‘Mild Mustard Sauce’ to pre-remastering Phil Collins CD reissues.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2012
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Ministers to consider raising the speed of light

‘Increasing the speed limit would reduce the journey time from the sun to the earth from its current sluggish 8 minutes and 19 seconds, bringing enormous economic benefits by increasing the amount of sunlight we receive and potentially lengthening the day.’

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2011
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Quantum physicists blame police for death of MI6 agent

Quantum physicists have blamed the recent death of an MI6 agent found stuffed inside a large canvas bag on the investigator who opened the bag.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2010
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Schrödinger’s cat ‘most definitely dead’

The international scientific community has finally reached a consensus as to the quantum state of Schrödinger’s cat, the subject of the famous paradoxical thought experiment postulated by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2009
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