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Posts Tagged ‘Queen’

Queen ‘disappointed at lack of rap singers’ in honours list

Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Her Majesty the Queen has expressed dismay that British rap and hip hop singers are almost absent from the New Years Honours list this year. Sir Bob Kerslake, who has drafted the last five lists, stated that Her Majesty said ‘One’s seriously dischuffed’ at the lack of such singers, who she regards as ‘well good’. Sir Bob admitted that he didn’t know any rap singers, however he understood that both Her Majesty and Prince Philip are fans of the genre.

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2014
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Prince Philip admits he may not live to offend everyone

still honing 'classic one-liner' on geriatric Royals‘You’ve got the hearing-impaired, the partially sighted, same-sex this, transgender that… It’s impossible to keep up, but one does one’s best.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2014
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Queen requests state burial in Waitrose car park

will consider offers from Lidl‘Her Majesty is keen to reintroduce the medieval tradition of laying monarchs to rest beneath municipal car parks’

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Queen to auction off some Commonwealth countries

The Queen has been having a clear out and will be putting some of the Commonwealth up for auction, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.

‘Her Majesty is the first to admit she’s a bit of a hoarder,’ said a Palace spokesman. ‘It wasn’t until she had to sit through the opening ceremony at the Commonwealth Games the other day that she realised she still had half these countries. They’re scattered all over the place, you know. We dust them off every couple of years for a Games or a summit or whatever but it turns out that afterwards they’re just going back into storage and being forgotten about.’

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2014
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Prince George rules Lego world with an iron fist

The Queen and senior members of the Royal Family have spoken of their ‘delight’ today after an official video showed one-year-old Prince George ruling his Lego kingdom with an authoritarian zeal unseen since the early Stuart period.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2014
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