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Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that this year’s Queen’s Christmas Message will be directed by Ang Lee, and will be called ‘The Windsor Supremacy’. The three hour long epic co-stars Vin Diesel and Jackie Chan and will feature explosions, kung fu fights and car chases in an attempt to boost flagging ratings.
‘I always stick the Queen’s speech on when I’m having a nap after Christmas dinner’ said Lee, ‘but try sleeping through this!’

The award winning director, whose films include ‘Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’, said ‘think James Bond meets ‘Kill Bill’. There are spies, beautiful foreign assassins, martial arts punch-ups, car chases around the grounds of Balmoral, in-bred relatives, the lot. Her Majesty did all her own stunts as well. The scene where she punches Camilla through a plate glass window really is her’.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2008
More from Arts/Entertainment, UK News

Reports have emerged that Queen Elizabeth II has sold her ticket to this years FA cup final on eBay. The match between Manchester United and Chelsea is a sell out with tickets changing hands for over a thousand pounds.

The Queen who uses name ‘Londonliz1952’ has had the ticket for sale through the online auction site for a week. Her description of the ticket claimed that it ‘was as close to the royal box as you can get’ and ‘from a trusted and reliable source.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2007
More from Sport

Queen Elizabeth II stormed off the set of her official broadcast this morning shouting that she refused to work with ‘fucking amateurs’ and that they ‘could get some other mug to do their crappy Christmas show for them’.

The Queen’s official Christmas broadcast to the United Kingdom and Commonwealth has been a traditional highlight of the royal calendar dating back to Her Majesty’s first radio broadcast as monarch in 1952. However in recent years television directors have found Her Majesty increasingly difficult to handle.

‘I should have seen the warning signs when we got back her amended contract,’ said top TV director John Stroud. ‘There was a clause demanding two crates of lager in the dressing room and that one of the mirrors be laid out horizontally.’

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2006
More from Celebrity