Queen and Martin McGuinness handshake destined for Sistine Chapel
Some art historians are predicting that the iconic Michelangelo image will soon be eclipsed by the Queen-McGuinness handshake.
Posted: Jun 28th, 2012
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Posts Tagged ‘Queen’
Queen’s Diamond Jubilee enthusiasts ‘now feeling like twats’
People who backed the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations say they now ‘feel like complete twats’. ‘What was all that about?’ said Jack Peters who helped organize a street party and wore a plastic crown for four days.
Posted: Jun 9th, 2012
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Queen ‘comes out’ as dyslexic after igniting Deacon in error
Buckingham and Lambeth Palaces have presented a united front over the near-immolation of Stephen Wallace, the chubby Deacon of St Paul’s Cathedral, at the Jubilee Concert yesterday. The Queen apparently mis-read her instructions to light the large Beacon.
Posted: Jun 6th, 2012
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Old lady passes 60th year in dead-end job
The 86-year-old marked her 60th year in a job which affords her no responsibility, no prospects of progression and absolutely no sense of fulfilment.
Posted: Jun 4th, 2012
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Royal Jubilee engagements causing backlog of unopened supermarkets
Supermarket giants including Tesco and Sainsbury’s have led angry calls for the Royal Family to ‘stop fannying about for the Jubilee’ after news emerged that forty fully-stocked supermarkets have been left unopened for months.
‘We’ve been continuing to expand our operations across the United Kingdom,’ said Tesco chief executive Philip Clarke. ‘But since this Diamond Jubilee nonsense started, we’ve been left with 17 stores ready to go but unopened because the Royals are all booked up reading the weather or dancing with Usain Bolt in Jamaica or sailing down the bloody Thames.’
Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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