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Posts Tagged ‘railways’

Train operator denies third-class plan

‘We have never petitioned anyone to introduce further classes of travel on our routes’, a FirstGroup spokesman said.

‘For starters, with first class taking up so much room on our rolling stock, despite limited take-up, where would we put it?

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2012
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Arabic rail poster was ‘accurate translation of original Gibberish’

Rail bosses have defended a series of Arabic warning posters that made little sense, claiming they were translated correctly from the original gibberish. Experts had complained that the posters were ‘essentially meaningless’, rendering them ‘as inaccurate as a timetable’ to visiting travellers.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2012
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Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs

sufferers being re-routed via city of UtopiaHighways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2011
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Cash-strapped rail operators begin asking passengers to leave their valuables on the train

In an effort to remain commercially viable, Britain’s rail operators are to change the advice given to UK rail passengers from “please remember to take all your belongings with you” to “please leave one or two of your valuables behind you when you get off”.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2010
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Commuter tragically dies in rush to station to commit suicide

Had to go back for his briefcasePolice investigating the death from a heart attack of insurance broker Gerald Murray, yesterday found evidence that he was planning to throw himself under the very train he was rushing to catch.

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2009
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