Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs
Highways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’.
Posted: Jan 23rd, 2011
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Posts Tagged ‘railways’
Cash-strapped rail operators begin asking passengers to leave their valuables on the train
In an effort to remain commercially viable, Britain’s rail operators are to change the advice given to UK rail passengers from “please remember to take all your belongings with you” to “please leave one or two of your valuables behind you when you get off”.
Posted: Aug 31st, 2010
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Commuter tragically dies in rush to station to commit suicide
Police investigating the death from a heart attack of insurance broker Gerald Murray, yesterday found evidence that he was planning to throw himself under the very train he was rushing to catch.
Posted: Nov 21st, 2009
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£50 revamp for Monopoly game train stations
Under pressure from commuter groups, toy maker Hasbro today unveiled plans to upgrade the four stations that appear on its best-selling board game Monopoly.
Posted: Nov 20th, 2009
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‘Master of enjambment’ wins rail poetry prize
A man who reads out the buffet menu on First Great Western’s Paddington to Penzance route has won this year’s prestigious Poetry in Motion Prize. Buffet manager Jim Swindon says he was astonished when he was told he had won the competition: ‘I knew that there was this annual prize for poetry to do with rail travel, but I’d no idea that I’d been nominated.’
Margaret Derby, who regularly travels on Mr Swindon’s train, said: ‘When we heard about the competition, a few of us regulars got together and decided we should nominate Jim on account of the way he reads the buffet menu. It’s a delight to hear and something you never tire of. Even the intercom can’t destroy his mellifluous voice. Now I take the train just for his poetry.’
Posted: Apr 11th, 2009
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