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Posts Tagged ‘RBS’

Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
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‘Money spent on Rosetta could have bailed one of us out’, moan banks

10 years to blow £1.1 billion? Hopeless!Despite costing a meagre £1.1bn and possibly changing the course of human civilisation as we know it, the banking community has been quick to dismiss the Rosetta Space Mission as a ‘frivolous boondoggle’.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2014
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Secret Santa exposed as major money laundering scheme

all the good stuff went elsewhere, as alwaysThe world’s favourite office tradition has been revealed to have a darker side.

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2014
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Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

lying low until bribery comes back into fashion‘Ordinarily I would be proud to be the target of such accusations, but I think we accept that as an organisation we have underperformed and let people down’.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
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2000 slaves to be buried alongside RBS Pharaoh

now focussing solely on pyramid schemesStephen Hester, or King Tut Tut the Third of RBS, has decreed that 2,000 former servants from the bank’s investment arm be slaughtered and buried alongside him in a specially designed pyramid.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2013
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