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Posts Tagged ‘RBS’

2000 slaves to be buried alongside RBS Pharaoh

now focussing solely on pyramid schemesStephen Hester, or King Tut Tut the Third of RBS, has decreed that 2,000 former servants from the bank’s investment arm be slaughtered and buried alongside him in a specially designed pyramid.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2013
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Royal Bank of Scotland to be sold to Betfred.com

Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation Betfred.com, it has been announced. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to ‘take it off your hands, gov.’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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RBS ‘regrets’ investing in financial software from Fisher-Price

looking for new, more influential sponsor. like BarclaysRBS executives have acknowledged that purchasing their software and systems from Fisher-Price may have been a cost-cutting exercise too far.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2013
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Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2012
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Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

lying low until bribery comes back into fashionThe overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this year.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2012
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