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Posts Tagged ‘Rebekah Brooks’

Rebekah Brooks to get off after ‘promise from government’

Rebekah Brooks case is tipped to collapse after revelations that the British Government had promised her in writing that she would not be prosecuted. Ms Brooks barrister, Jonathan Laidlaw claimed today that she had received an email from a member of the government of the day whose identity is being protected, but who is being described as ‘very orange and holding the highest office’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks : ‘I Didn’t Know Genocide Was Illegal’

Rebecca Brooks has explained that she didn’t know that murder, arson, genocide, phone hacking, extortion, terrorism or poisoning were illegal until advised by her lawyers recently.

‘I thought they were just jolly japes’, she told a stunned courtroom.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks successfully uses the ‘I knew Tony Blair’ defence

alternative Views of the WorldJust when schadenfreude, infidelity and ginger-karma appeared to have caught up with Mrs Brooks, fate and the High Court have stepped in to clear her of one of five counts of conspiracy. Her legal team attributed this pyrrhic victory to the mitigating circumstances of their client having consorted with an Anthony Charles Lynton Blair and in the spirit of Page Three were quick to make a clean breast of the matter.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2014
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Churchill to take up role as new press watchdog

small print on page 34 will probably show you didn't have adequate cover‘I met him this morning to ask whether he supported a tougher form of self-regulation of the press with a robust statutory underpinning, and he nodded his head and said ‘Oooh yes’.’

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2013
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Phone hacking trial indirectly caused wine shortage

‘Our client wishes to maintain her innocence – and an alcoholic stupor,’ said Rebekah Brooks’s counsel. ‘A few bottles of a nice claret for medicinal purposes can give anyone the Dutch courage to ignore all ethical boundaries, urinate behind the butchers in Chipping Norton High Street and marry Ross Kemp.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2013
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