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Posts Tagged ‘Recession’

Nation decides to have ‘duvet year’

will be up again in time for the OlympicsBritain woke up this morning, opened the curtains, took one look at 2011 and decided to go back to bed for the next 12 months.

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
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Marketing exec fired for Halloween ‘lack of imagination’

Don Price is the ex-Marketing Manager of The Norwich Broom Store today having lost his job for failing to cash in on the Halloween bonanza. While every other shop in town had managed to find a Halloween angle to boost sales, Price could not come up with anything.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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Economy recovering confidence after counselling, support from friends

‘When I look back on it, my problems had been building up for years, but I just hadn’t been facing up to them,’ admitted the Economy.

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2014
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UK economic activity statistics to include contract killings

Funds received by gang lords for nefarious activities such as people trafficking and contract killings are to be included as part of the UK’s economic activity say the ONS. VAT exempt financial transactions such as arson, protection money, kidnap ransoms and extortion will also be included in the measures although money laundering will not be included for another two years.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
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