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Posts Tagged ‘Recession’

Cameron ‘Sold off UK summer in 2011′

It’s been revealed that David Cameron sold off the British summer 2 years ago to try and pay off some of the national debt. Meteorologists said that explains why we’ve been going straight from a wet spring to autumn for the past 3 years.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2013
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Spanish A&E manned by Bon Jovi‏

The American rock band, Bon Jovi, have agreed to support staff at the beleaguered, Hospital Niño Jesús in Madrid. ‘I’ll Be There for You’, insist the New Jersey boys, who have been juggling their paramedic training alongside stadium renditions of ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’.

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Posted: May 30th, 2013
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Homeless hit by ‘spare cardboard box tax’

Single homeless people sleeping in cardboard boxes will be penalised for each container over-and-above their ‘main bedroom box’, the government has confirmed. The levy on income will be deducted at source, from the paper cups in front of them, by specially-trained ‘proceeds of begging recovery experts’.

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Posted: May 14th, 2013
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Triple-dip latest: Jubilant Chancellor ‘ready’ for outpouring of national gratitude

The ever-popular Chancellor, George Osborne, has led a wave of national jubilation after the wonderful news emerged that the UK has avoided a triple-dip recession.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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James Crosby to be given knighthood for giving up knighthood

A spokesmanperson for Buckingham Palace said: ‘We like to recognise acts of selflessness, and this is surely a great example.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2013
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