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Posts Tagged ‘recycling’

Wheelie bin roll-out sparks alien invasion fears on Isle of Wight

Armed mobs of Isle of Wight residents are said to be roaming the island’s streets and country lanes after the sudden appearance of wheeled recycling bins was mistaken for an extra-terrestrial invasion by startled locals.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2010
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Climate change forces alterations to ‘Horrendous Management Clichés’

Favoured expression ‘Blue Sky Thinking’ is the first management-speak phrase to be completely overhauled in the boardrooms of the city due to climate change.

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2009
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EU to force councils to recycle more reality TV stars

Jedward to appear soon on 'Cash in the Attic'New EU regulations due to come into force next year are set to force local authorities to increase the amount of reality TV stars they recycle, with tough targets set to create a 70% reduction in reality TV star waste by 2015.

‘These new rules are absolutely vital to protect our environment for our children and our children’s children’ explained EU Environment Commissioner Stavros Dimas. ‘Our projections show that landfill sites will soon be full of people who have appeared on a reality TV show once then been discarded, but there’s no reason at all that they can’t be recycled and used on another show. Action needs to be taken now.’

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2009
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Councils launch gym equipment amnesty

A new scheme to help fat people get unused rowing machines, abdominizors and cycling machines out of their spare rooms without ridicule has been given a cautious welcome.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2009
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Recycling Fairy officially admitted to World Council of Household Fairies

bringing the whole fairy movement bang up to dateAs anticipated, the World Council of Household Fairies today unanimously voted to admit the Recycling Fairy as a full member of F8, as the enlarged council will now be known. ‘It was only a matter of time really,’ said the Rubbish Fairy, to whom Recycling previously reported as Deputy Fairy in charge of Recycling Division.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2009
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