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Posts Tagged ‘referendum’

Cats still to decide on inside or outside referendum

The National Cat Association (NCA) has admitted that there is still no consensus about whether they want the free-market roaming that the garden represents or the warm monetary union offered by the airing cupboard.  A spokes-cat said: ‘We didn’t expect a swift decision; to be honest, it could be years.  What we will say is that shouting at us will not make it any quicker’.

Those in favour of staying indoors have said the deal has been sweetened by their German owner, offering additional squatting rights with any cardboard box, computer keyboard or lap of their choice.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2015
More from Lifestyle

Cameron ‘definitely going to do something about Europe’

David Cameron has announced that if the EU doesn’t listen to him, he may get very angry and may probably, if he feels like it, pull of out of Europe. However, he will first have to ask the party, then have a referendum, but only if the Commons votes for one, though only if the Cabinet wants a Commons vote on whether there should be a referendum and only if he wants the Cabinet to request a Commons vote

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2015
More from News In Brief

SNP to replace daylight savings with ‘borrowed time‏’

Scotland’s First Minister has rejected David Cameron’s insistence on a shared British clock and has proposed a move to a system where by the Scots, under cover of darkness, could sneak south of the border to ‘steal the women folk’. Nicola Sturgeon warned the Prime Minister that his days of a united approach to timekeeping were numbered or at the very least ‘moving from imperial to metric’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2015
More from Politics

Chelmsford man holds referendum on paying his bills this month

Paul Willis of Chelmsford has taken the unusual step of opting out his financial responsibilities while at the same time demanding that his neighbours continue to send him food parcels and mow his lawn. Inspired by the Greek people, the 66-year-old hairdresser took a detailed poll of all those living at his address, including the cat, and received a unanimous mandate to stop paying his mortgage, tipping waiters or funding future Christmas presents.

‘I have taken a democratic decision to ignore my existing debts and I would ask my creditors to respect that,’ Willis told the Chelmsford Reporter. ‘To begin with I was a little unsure, but choosing not to pay has been a great weight off my shoulders. And to those I owe money to I would say, please keep putting things on my tab, I’ll settle up eventually – honest.’

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2015
More from UK News

Greeks vote to kick the can over the wall

In a referendum asking whether they wanted to kick the can down the road or to kick the can a long way down the road, the Greek people voted instead to kick the can over the wall. The government now seems likely to demand a never-ending supply of further, increasingly large, cans for them to continue to kick over the wall.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2015
More from News In Brief