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Posts Tagged ‘referendum’

Poundland warns Scots about the price of independence

The Chief Executive of Scotland’s premier purveyor of luxury foodstuffs, Poundland, has joined in the referendum debate. CEO Mr. John Bull has been lobbying Downing Street to relent over their hard line stance about currency union in the wake off a ’yes’ vote in next week’s referendum, but with little success.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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England to remain as ‘scapegoat’ in event of Scottish independence

What have the Britons ever done for us, eh?Fans of psychological projection, blamestorming and scapegoating were over the moon last night after First Minister Alex Salmond won them an important concession in the lead-up to next week’s historic referendum. It has been confirmed that, even when Scotland has become a strong, world respected nation with a flourishing economy and healthy population, it will still have an option to ‘blame everything on the English’.

Some experts feared that Scotland’s booming economy and spreading bonhomie might change the national character forever. The feel good factor, surging national confidence and removal of all the chains that held them back could, ironically, have a detrimental effect on the nation, the experts warned.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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UK ‘revenge porn’ threat if Scotland walks

In a last desperate ploy to save its marriage, the UK has posted a veiled threat on Facebook to publish ‘candid pictures’ of Scotland, unless they pull back from separation. The pictures, said to feature the feisty northern lass in various stages of undress, were taken several years ago when the union was a ‘happy affair’.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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‘Not Sure’ campaign stages late comeback in lead-up to referendum

After support for the ‘Not Sure’ campaign in the Scottish referendum fell to an all time low of 7%, a recent poll now shows a late surge to 23%.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Scotland to be given deciding vote on Strictly and X-Factor

In a review of expanded powers to Scotland, known as ‘Devo Max’, the Better Together campaign have announced a slew of new tax, spending and legislative powers that will now include the deciding vote on all subsequent winners of Strictly Come Dancing and The X-Factor.

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2014
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