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Posts Tagged ‘refugees’

Germany cannot take ‘any more VW migrants’

‘There are thousands of them heading for our borders,’ complained a German spokesman today, ‘bringing their diesel fumes and exhaust emissions with them. We can’t possibly be expected to take them all,’ he added.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2015
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Europe urged to take more desperate Labour ex-front-benchers

They packed up and left in the middle of the night. Some of them barely had time to tweet their indignation before grabbing what limited personal belongings they could carry and heading South East.

By dawn the camps had sprung up near Dover, desperate ex Labour Front-benchers and their aides huddled together waiting for the traffickers who would take them to the continent and a new life, away from Corbyn, somewhere safe.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2015
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Paris Hilton spotted with Syrian migrant in handbag

Syrian migrants are set to become this years ‘must have’ accessory, after socialite Paris Hilton was photographed leaving an exclusive Munich fashion store with a desperate refugee clinging to her Louis Vuitton Kusama Pumpkin handbag…

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2015
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EasyJet defends decision to open Damascus/Berlin service

‘Our website has been overwhelmed, we’re delighted,’ exclaimed Jerry Flynn Bookings Manager in Dublin. ‘There has been an above-average uptake of additional luggage bookings too.’ he added. With many opting for a return flight linked with a shuttle service from Birmingham for the hundreds of schoolgirl Jihadist-wives…

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2015
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Tabloids produce something more distasteful than a Diana plate

Daily Express readers were flocking to their phones this morning to place a deposit on a newly minted Royal Worcester set of chinaware – featuring the short, tragic but impactful life of a deceased refugee ‘of your choice’. The centrepiece of the collection is a gravy boat depicting a body strewn Turkish beach; which guarantees to transform the tone of your after-dinner tete a tete from abhorrence of scrounging migrants to the economic possibilities afforded by refugees.

‘Ever since these powerful images appeared, we have been inundated with requests to do something that will never be forgotten, preferably unsavoury…’

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2015
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