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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Straight men to push for ban on marriage between heterosexual couples

In the wake of gay marriage being legalised, straight men across the UK today called on politicians to vote for a ban on marriage between different sex couples. ‘It seems a fair swap,’ said spokesman Trevor Coshpot. ‘We were baffled enough when gay men fought tooth and nail to be allowed into the army, now they want to be married as well?’

The proposal aims to alleviate pressure on wedding venues and marriage counselling services by significantly reducing the number of people getting married.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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Aquarius refuses to advise Swindon woman

Libra 'staying out of it'‘As gigantic balls of gas an unimaginable distance from your solar system, we really couldn’t care less about Ms. Clarke’s tedious love life.’

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2013
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‘Too much admin’ in modern relationships, claims Iain Duncan Smith

Iain Duncan Smith has vowed to free young lovers from the ‘overwhelming administrative burden’ of keeping modern relationships alive on Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, Instagram, Foursquare, Orkut, Formspring and Tumblr, in a speech at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2013
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Fame-hungry whore dumps fame-hungry whore for being a fame-hungry whore

‘They’re just a fame-hungry whore,’ said the fame-hungry whore at an awards ceremony last night.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2013
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Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2011
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