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Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Gareth Malone to form Taliban Choir

‘Everyone thinks that the situation in Afghanistan is hopeless, but we should try harnessing the healing power of group singing, and selling lots of albums.’

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2012
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Religious protesters stand down as Gods agree to fight their own battles

Humanity has breathed a collective sigh of relief as its gods prepare finally to leave home and stand on their own two, or in Vishnu’s case, four, feet.

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2012
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Christian clergy ‘waterboarding infants’ as rite of passage

confessed to everythingThe Christian church was today accused of employing enhanced interrogation techniques as part of a barbaric ritual for inducting babies and young children into the ways of the faith.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2012
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Amish community divided over invention of ‘corn doll’ jet engine

Amish leaders are locked in vigorous debate after a member of their community accidentally reinvented the jet engine. Hand-woven and finished off with a short length of ribbon, the three-stage corn doll can produce 45,000 pounds of thrust in a manner not at odds with the Bible.

‘I was creating a cereal-based decoration, using traditional methods that God would approve of’, insisted Joseph Fisher, ‘but it was my turn to scrub the chickens, and I didn’t want to do it. To take up more time I added a couple of extra twists and a low-pressure bypass nozzle, and that’s when it span into life, using principles well beyond my comprehension.’

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2012
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Elite athlete thanks Darwin for ‘gift’ of athletic prowess

Olympic hopeful Mark Jones has dedicated his natural athletic ability to Charles Darwin, after setting a new world record for the 400 metre hurdles.

Interviewed after the race Jones said a few short words to Darwin, who has recently become a part of his life and filled his heart with the wonders of evolution.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2012
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