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Posts Tagged ‘retirement’

After 60 years of work, Windsor woman can’t retire due to ‘useless son’

An 86-year-old Windsor woman who has worked for 60 years may have to continue working into her nineties because her son is ‘an absolutely useless twat’, according to Age UK.

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Posted: May 28th, 2012
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MoD unveils Falklands ‘retirement villas’

binoculars 'thrown in'The MoD today announced plans for a huge, heavily fortified timeshare facility, overlooking the beaches and minefields of the popular Falkland Islands. The islands have never been so sought-after, and the British military are keen to promote its facilities to retiring members of the armed forces.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2011
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Retirement communities in battle for Gaddafi’s signature

Fat manilla envelopes have been piling up in the Tripoli palace of beleaguered despot, Muammar Gaddafi from retirement communities around the globe.

Roy Greenstreet is managing director of Tyrants-R-Us – ‘almost assassination-free since 1975’ – a small gated community in Tirana, Albania. He says he’s excited by the prospect of adding Gaddafi to his rosta of brutal dictators who have chosen to spend their declining years in luxurious surroundings.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2011
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Campaign launched to fight for ‘right to become senile’

Soon-to-be pensioners have reacted with disappointment at the increase in the retirement age and are planning a challenge under the Human Rights Act, claiming that the Government is denying them their sacred right to descend into obscurity, social isolation and dementia by raising the retirement age.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2011
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Thousands of middle-aged men have England dreams crushed by Capello

‘I just assumed that one day someone would recognise my talent,’ said Dave Hurley, a 36-year-old IT salesman who is three stone overweight.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2010
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