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Met police appeal for help with new acronym in fight against gun crime
The Metropolitan Police have issued a public appeal for help with creating a ‘really cool sounding acronym’ in an attempt to reduce gun crime in London. [read...]
Tagged Riots
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Robin Hood resigns due to ‘disillusionment’ with job
Robin Hood, famous for his job as a ‘fiscal re-distributor’, has announced his resignation from the role having last week expressed his concerns about his job publicly for the first time. [read...]
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Rioters denounce ‘Americanisation’ of British way of rioting
British rioters have hit out at what they see as an unwelcome transatlantic influence on the traditional English way of looting and causing affray. [read...]
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Isle of Wight town centre in chaos after passive-aggressive rioting
An uneasy peace was hanging over the centre of Cowes, Isle of Wight, this morning after a series of riots that was initially sparked by passive-aggressive indirect communication between a man who needed the toilet and a group of born again Christians. [read...]
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Looters apologise to communities for causing two days of visits by politicians
‘We have to accept that we were not prepared for the consequences of our actions,’ said a senior looter in Ealing, west London. [read...]