Tobias Ellwood from the Ministry of Defence has admitted the army are to be placed on standby to ensure supermarkets and shops remain full of goods in the event of a ‘no-deal’ Brexit apocalyptic consumer wasteland. [read...]
The Metropolitan Police have issued a public appeal for help with creating a ‘really cool sounding acronym’ in an attempt to reduce gun crime in London. [read...]
Robin Hood, famous for his job as a ‘fiscal re-distributor’, has announced his resignation from the role having last week expressed his concerns about his job publicly for the first time. [read...]
British rioters have hit out at what they see as an unwelcome transatlantic influence on the traditional English way of looting and causing affray. [read...]
An uneasy peace was hanging over the centre of Cowes, Isle of Wight, this morning after a series of riots that was initially sparked by passive-aggressive indirect communication between a man who needed the toilet and a group of born again Christians. [read...]
