NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Riots’

Kentish Town applies to move back to Kent to avoid further rioting

Appalled by week’s riots, residents of Kentish Town have renewed their petition to the Boundaries Commission to have their community moved back to Kent.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Robin Hood resigns due to ‘disillusionment’ with job

admits he's lost control of NottinghamRobin Hood, famous for his job as a ‘fiscal re-distributor’, has announced his resignation from the role having last week expressed his concerns about his job publicly for the first time.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 13th, 2011
More from UK News



Cameron authorises super soaker water pistols for riot police

David Cameron has announced that police will be issued with super soaker water pistols as an extra weapon in their public order armoury. ‘Heavy anti-riot artillery, such as the water cannon, is a blunt sword,’ said the Prime Minister, ‘So we have authorised the micro-artillery of the super soaker anti-riot personal attack weapon.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 12th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Looters apologise to communities for causing two days of visits by politicians

kept asking if anyone fancied a game of wiff waff‘We have to accept that we were not prepared for the consequences of our actions,’ said a senior looter in Ealing, west London.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 11th, 2011
More from UK News



Government to issue polar bears to riot police

Under new emergency powers to be revealed in Parliament tomorrow, riot police will be able to deploy a specially trained bear to disperse crowds and maintain public order. Each bear has been given strict instructions to chase arsonists, looters or anyone who just looks a bit tasty. ‘We have been more than patient with these people,’ said Home Secretary Theresa May, ‘releasing a ferocious 1500 lb carnivore into the area is the only language they will understand.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 10th, 2011
More from News In Brief