The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Robert Mugabe’

Class vote in Form 7A was ‘free, fair and peaceful’

Big Robert thrashed little Morgan by 42 votes to 3 after all 30 votes were taken.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 4th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Robert Mugabe declares himself the new Doctor Who

With all the votes counted in Zimbabwe’s general election, officials have today confirmed that President Robert Mugabe has been elected as the new Doctor Who. The 89-year-old will be unveiled live on BBC1 on Sunday night, along with his assistant Morgan Tsvangirai, and will take up the role in December when the current Doctor’s term of office comes to an end.

‘This is a splendid victory for our glorious President,’ said a Zanu-PF spokesman. ‘He deserves to become a Time Lord – no one has done more to turn back time and rewrite history in Zimbabwe than our great leader. He is the people’s choice and has an outstanding record in facing up to those white cybermen.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 2nd, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment

NHS starts search for new incompetent and uncaring chief executive

The government has started a world-wide search for someone entirely devoid of compassion and clueless enough to replace Sir David Nicholson as chief executive of the NHS.

Read more >

Posted: May 22nd, 2013
More from News In Brief

Study: Majority of despots take their own sandwiches into work

‘Hitler was well known for arriving for work at the Führerbunker carrying a cheese and pickle sandwich in a paper bag. Of course he only ate white bread.’

Read more >

Posted: Sep 2nd, 2011
More from Lifestyle, World News

Iran and North Korea praise UK for ‘free and fair’ election

World leaders as diverse as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hamid Karzai and Kim Jong-il were lining up today to endorse the UK general election as a shining example of the democratic process.

Read more >

Posted: May 7th, 2010
More from News In Brief