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Posts Tagged ‘Rochdale’

Yanukovich emerges from hiding as branch manager of Carphone Warehouse

every sale endorsed by president Putin himselfThe fugitive Ukranian premier Viktor Yanukovych has emerged as the manager of a branch of Carphone Warehouse at the Arndale Centre, Accrington.

Branch salesperson Greg Mottram said ‘I turned up this morning and there was no sign of Debbie, the regular manager, just this Yanukovich bloke. when I asked where Debbie was, I was told she’d been sent into ‘internal exile’. When I asked where to, I was told Rochdale which, you know, is a bit harsh.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
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Prime Minister Miliband would ‘un-invade Iraq’

‘We’ll send troops into Iraq with what I call weapons of mass construction – bricks, nails and gaffer tape – to undo the invasion with a Saddam lookalike to run the country. It will be as good as new at best, or as good as Slough at worse.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
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Gaddafi finally surrenders after being ambushed by Gillian Duffy

After several weeks of NATO-led fighting in Libya, Colonel Gaddafi finally stood down today after being buttonholed on a walkabout by Rochdale pensioner Gillian Duffy.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Cameron appoints Gillian Duffy as State Immigration Controller

‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
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