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Posts Tagged ‘rock’

Threat of Dolly Parton and Metallica fails to put off mud enthusiasts

Plimsoll Act headlining this yearFans of unsanitary fields of muck descended on Worthy Farm in their thousands today for the annual Glastonbury Festival, uninhibited by gloomy forecasts of performances by Dolly Parton, Lily Allen, Arcade Fire and Metallica. The Glastonbury Festival has long been the premier destination for aficionados of mud, and those who just want to ‘open their minds’ to new and challenging types of flooding.

This year’s festival promises a stellar line-up of waterlogged fields, fetid toilets and poor amenities. However, forecasters have predicted spates of shoegazing indie rock, unmitigating showers of experimental electronica, and a deluge of country & western scheduled for Sunday night. Revellers have also been warned to come prepared for outbursts of circus skills, poetry, theatre and comedy.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2014
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Passport backlog: thousands of Brits wanted a holiday in Cornwall all along

'Thank God Rick Stein's not around to see this'Tens of thousands of people who have had to cancel foreign holidays because of the passport backlog have realised that actually they wanted to go to Cornwall all along.

‘We’d booked two weeks on the Costa del Sol,’ said Fred Ashford, from Ashford, ‘but as soon as we knew our passports wouldn’t be ready, we reappraised the situation and found that foreign adventures probably weren’t for us at this time. It turned out that our ideal holiday destination, in terms of climate, food, relaxation, home from home facilities and all that, was Newquay. And if it pisses down all week again, who cares? I intend to have lots of fun in this new pot-bellied surfing wetsuit I bought by not paying £55 each to speed up the passport application.’

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2014
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