People who were unlucky in trying to buy tickets for this year’s Glastonbury Festival may get another chance – because sixty-per cent of those who got tickets are so old they are expected to die before June.
Posted: Mar 30th, 2013
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News of the Never-come-back gig has caused a sensation online, with rumours of a guerrilla non-appearance at the long-demolished Marquee Club.
Posted: Oct 14th, 2012
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A middle aged Carshalton couple had the surprise of their lives yesterday when they discovered one of the lost wonders of the ancient world under their sofa: a legendary troupe of early musicians known as the Rolling Stones.
Sharon Sanders, 47, said early reports that a medieval shaft had been discovered were inaccurate. ‘It was only the singer trying to draw attention to his manhood,’ she explained.
Posted: Aug 31st, 2012
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It was announced last night that the British expedition to climb the face of Keith Richards, the veteran Rolling Stones guitarist, has been abandoned following the loss of a climber in a deep crevasse. The crack climbing team had been assembled from the very best that British celebrity scaling can offer.
Posted: Jan 5th, 2011
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Richards was permitted to carry on living for thirty years longer than he was supposed to.
Posted: May 27th, 2008
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