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Posts Tagged ‘Rolling Stones’

Sixty-per cent of Glastonbury ticket holders will die before June

People who were unlucky in trying to buy tickets for this year’s Glastonbury Festival may get another chance – because sixty-per cent of those who got tickets are so old they are expected to die before June.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2013
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Led Zeppelin pledge to never come back for one last time

News of the Never-come-back gig has caused a sensation online, with rumours of a guerrilla non-appearance at the long-demolished Marquee Club.

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2012
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Ancient rock band discovered under sofa

A middle aged Carshalton couple had the surprise of their lives yesterday when they discovered one of the lost wonders of the ancient world under their sofa: a legendary troupe of early musicians known as the Rolling Stones.

Sharon Sanders, 47, said early reports that a medieval shaft had been discovered were inaccurate. ‘It was only the singer trying to draw attention to his manhood,’ she explained.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2012
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Attempt to scale face of Keith Richards abandoned

you can't say they never triedIt was announced last night that the British expedition to climb the face of Keith Richards, the veteran Rolling Stones guitarist, has been abandoned following the loss of a climber in a deep crevasse. The crack climbing team had been assembled from the very best that British celebrity scaling can offer.

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Posted: Jan 5th, 2011
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Grim Reaper realises he was meant to collect Keith Richards ‘ages ago’

Richards was permitted to carry on living for thirty years longer than he was supposed to.

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Posted: May 27th, 2008
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